Stress impacts performance, that much is evident. And it is also evident that we can change the structure of our own brain by learning to silence the mind, as well as cultivating optimism and gratitude. How can we optimally deal with the constant stress in these times that we live in? If we want to be better able to handle stress, it is worth taking deliberate steps to build resilience.
Perceptions of Stress
I think the answer to that question is three-fold: First, we have to be able to shift how we perceive stress. Before you can learn to manage stress, it’s helpful to get an idea of how big of a role stress plays in your life. The Perceived Stress Scale (PSS) can be used to measure your perception of stress. Research has shown that people who are primed to view stress as a challenge actually perform better than people who perceive stress as a threat. So, take steps to reframe how you perceive stress.
Secondly, we need to learn how to recognize when our stress levels are starting to rise. Most people start breathing rapidly or get sweaty palms when stressed. If you wear an oximeter or set your fit bit to beep when your pulse gets to 100 beats per minute, know that you are likely moving past optimal levels of stress.
Finally, we can learn and practice techniques to quiet the mind, breathe, become more self-aware and cultivate optimism and gratitude.
How to Manage Perceived stress
Notice our own bodily sensations and then learn to silence the mind to stop from short-circuiting into using our fast-thinking, automatic parts of our brain (reptilian, fight or flight system). When we can notice and breathe, we are more capable of deliberately downshifting to manage our perceived stress levels. Here is an example. Let’s say you are in the middle of a stressful moment when - say someone yells in disagreement or you make a mistake and then stress levels rise – try this: stop, breathe and then be in the moment and ask “are there any tigers here?” Once you breathe, you engage your prefrontal cortex and you can access your creative and problem-solving brain more readily.
Second, it helps to pre-plan and practice this technique of pausing in your day to breathe; in these moments, notice your current identity, and the stories you tell yourself. Challenge the story you are telling yourself. How do I know this is so? Am I making any assumptions? Are the “tigers” real or assumed? If you have set a goal to align your current behavior and identity with your ideal self, visualize how you want to behave in that situation and practice the thoughts and words that support the development of that new behavior. Visualize and practice to re-wire new neural pathways for the new behavior.
Engage a coach to help you in your growth and development, self-awareness, and self-compassion. You can do this on your own, but it does help to have a coach to assist you to co-create new mindsets and scripts. It is also helpful to spend time rewinding old tapes of situations and re-scripting and rehearsing how you want to sound and look like in those situations. Role-playing is useful here. Imagine the new mindset and storyline, complete with refreshed thinking about yourself, and the situation. Incorporate self-compassionate and encouraging self-talk replacing the harsh criticism that might be the norm inside your head. Self-compassion is more powerful than self-esteem. And we do need to move past self-criticism and negative self-talk to be happier, more resilient, and more successful at work. It is worth taking the time to learn to be self-compassionate rather than self-critical.
I love this quote by Victor Frankl:
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Learning to quiet the mind and cultivate the ability to notice when we are stressed, while also learning to pause and breathe at the moment, has the power to bring us back into our bodies and get oxygen into the brain. This practice allows us to more readily stay in pre-frontal cortex regulation so we have the capacity to choose our response instead of just reacting in an amygdala hi-jack.
Taking command of our thoughts - taking them captive so to speak - can help us to change our experience of stressful situations. Here are a few ways to take command of our thoughts:
Create a list of all the things you cannot control.
Create another list of all the things you CAN control.
Think about that you can control more often and longer than those things that are out of our control. One thing that is completely in our control is how we organize our environment. Another is whether we have a consistent wake-up time or not. We can control our attitude in any given situation. We can decide if we are going to notice and think about all the negatives in our day or deliberately take time to spot the positives. This is a children’s book, but it definitely explains how children learn optimism which can assist them to manage their thought life: A Little Spot of Optimism. Warton@work also supplies leaders with Nano Tools on how to quiet the negative noise to enhance success at work.
Establish a gratitude practice: Do YOU focus on the negative and everything that went wrong? Or what is positive or humorous or what to be grateful for? This practice, called a gratitude practice combats stress and builds optimism by cultivating an attitude of gratitude – Great Leaders have an attitude of Gratitude - Do You?
Final thoughts
We all live stressful lives and currently face uncertainty in the realms of health (will I get COVID??), finances, employment, and our ability to productively meet expectations at work. Stress is a given, however, there are practices that we can deliberately establish and practice that can build our resilience and help us manage inevitable stresses more effectively, as well as enhance our potential for learning, innovation, and problem-solving capacity.
Reach out if you want 1:1 coaching through “Successful Transitions”, or more information about my new group coaching program called Fire Up.